Last of the Greatest Generation tribute

My father-in-law passed away this last weekend at 94. He was a child of a broken home during the depression era. He raised himself. During WW II, he celebrated his 19th birthday on the U.S.S. Nevada firing shells at Normandy Beach on D-Day. Nevada deployed to the South Pacific, where it was at every major battle. Nevada was the target of several Kamakazi planes. The gun turret next to him was blown apart by a Kamikaze and dozens of men blown to bits. I was with him a week ago when a caregiver asked him he was ever in an explosion or a fire, and he said, "No." I then said, what about Nevada he said that was just war.

He returned from the war and like many a G.I.'s settled into civilian life. In the mid 50"s a devastating tornado leveled his home. The family had to struggle to recover. Rebuild they did, of course — that's what they did with no government assistance. 

I married his oldest daughter and got to be part of his family and his life for 38 years, I knew him best in his final years, when we moved close to him to be together in his last years. I am saying flatly they don't make them like that anymore. 

He was just as unsinkable as his ship. The following video is so much similar to his life story. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io038KRcw1I&t=295s

Being in the now

Some use the term "mindfulness," but I prefer the term "being in the now." Training yourself to concentrate on the very thing or things in front of you or tasks at hand. For me, it is hard because my mind and attention span have never been very controlled. I was always focused on the next shiny thing. When I was in school, I sure they would have labeled me ADHD had they know about that back then.  But now well into the last quarter of my life, I can say it hasn't gotten a whole lot better.

So each day, I've developed routines and systems that force me to stay in the now. One thing though that has rewired our brains is smartphones. That makes all of us distracted and takes away from the now. I have been working on cutting back on that addiction.

Not that I am winning the battle of being in the now, but at least I am fighting it.

I would love your thoughts and suggestions of how you stay in the now.

Switch your thoughts

There is no room for envy in one's life. Now I believe most people agree with this on the surface; even though they still harbor it in their thought life. We all do its human nature. When I see a great looking car, elegant clothes, or anything else I covet that makes me envious.

Like Gordon Gecko in the '80s movie, Wall Street, where he said greed is good. He made that speech but with a twisting of the word greed. He used the word greed for aspiration. I could say envy can be good. But what does that mean? It means that envy can be replaced by appreciation. Wow, that is a nice watch he has. Instead of envy, appreciate what others have.

One final point. I believe in unlimited resources God had provided for all we need. Remember the lilies of the field and the sparrows. People who are most envious see a zero-sum game. If someone has something that means there is less to go around. Not true.

The upside of NO

What not to do is just as important as what to do. When organizing my day planner, I listed several things that I want to eliminate as well as the things I plan to do. I need to say no to spending too much time on social media. I need to say no to accepting that invitation to a webinar that is probably a sales pitch.

In the real world, it's hard to say no sometimes. We think that "no" is such a negative word. Saying no to accepting the wrong client, (even if it pays well), saying no to that extra portion at dinner, are just some examples of positive "no."

When selling or negotiating, getting the "no's" out uncover more than"yes" as  Chris Voss points out in his best-selling book, " Never Split the Difference, Negotiate as if Your Life Depended on it." He also makes a cleaver observation, "Yes, without how is often a no."

Say "no" to bad habits, wrong friendships, time-wasting activities, and you will see the upside of  "no."